2022 Tiny-little-practices-that-make-a-difference — On rushing, and what did Da Vinci mean anyway?

Are you finding yourself rushing through things?

When I was a young mother, and my daughter Jaime was in kindergarten she observed me rush around most mornings; making breakfast, making lunch, trying to get the girls dressed, myself ready for work, and all of us out the door on time. I can assure you it wasn’t a pretty scene — lots of zigging and zagging, frustrations being expressed, and there were those outfit changes (theirs as well as mine).

One day, Jaime piped up. Clearly and quietly said, “You know mom, I’ve been noticing that when you rush around like that it actually makes things take longer.” She had been watching carefully and she hadn’t missed a thing! In her five year old wisdom, she had found the right time to make this observation such that I could hear it, and now 35 years later I still hold the impression of that moment of truth. Out of the mouths of babes . . .

So when I sat down to write this blog post, I noticed that I had a bit of a rush going. The thought was that it should be done already. The feeling tone was in the anxiety realm: with all the uncertainty in the world, what can I offer that is of real use? And underneath the desire to be of use, was even the call to offer something brilliant! It was Friday afternoon, the sensations in my body were a slightly speedy jumpiness that had me out ahead of myself that wasn’t allowing me to focus. My brow was furrowed with trying to figure out what to write about. I was rushing in that way that Jaime noticed makes things take longer.

So, I paused and made use of a practice for unresourceful rushing when approaching tasks that I’ve developed recently for clients. My definition of unresourceful is: Being rendered incapable of using what is at hand wisely or efficiently. As the rushing started to dissipate, I realized that I could offer it as the first of the tiny little practices for 2022. So here goes.

Leonardo Da Vinci was on to something when he said, “Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.” But how do we use it well when it feels as if it is slipping away too fast? How do we use it well when our insides feel like a rushing river in rapids? And what the hell did Leonardo mean any way?

Here is a tiny little practice to develop quietude in the midst of activity which can give rise to a deeper efficiency — perhaps even experience a glimpse of what Leonardo meant. :)

There are a number of elements that contribute to to unresourceful rushing. When we get future oriented and then stir in a little anxiety (like the pressure to be brilliant) we come up and out of our center and the pace at which our body operates picks up. Driven by this future orientation the Friday afternoon neuro-chemical cocktail of cortisol and adrenaline shifted me into rush mode. This rendered me less able to resourcefully respond to the task at hand — Any chance I had at brilliance was disintegrating like wet tissue paper.

In general, when you are rushing you are operating up and out of most of your body. Think back and notice where your attention and energy is at those times. Chances are that it is floating at shoulder level or above and distinctly forward. Are you even aware of your spine or the back of your head? Can you feel the region of your heart, your butt on the chair?

You can attend to this high up and forward orientation simply by shifting your weight back and settling down into your body. To assist with this, place the palm of your hand on your belly and take a few breaths where you are elongating the out-breath. Elongating the out-breath while inviting your attention down towards your belly decreases the levels of cortisol and adrenaline, naturally settling your nervous system. It is a subtle yet remarkable shift that gives you access to more of yourself, to quietude.

Then return to the activity at hand. Start by giving the activity a specific amount of focused time and attention, say 15-30 minutes to start. Set a timer for that amount of time. Then place your hand on your belly and take a few breaths calling your attention in on the in-breath and settle down into your belly on the out-breath. Then imagine putting a set of blinders on and give the task your full attention until it is done or the timer has chimed, whichever comes first. If the task isn’t complete yet then evaluate and set the timer again. Continue until you have reached completion or the sense of rushing has dissipated and you are feeling resourcefully engaged in the process.

When we are rushing we are not able to find or forge a sense of engagement. Research in physics and philosophy is unveiling the truth that mystics like Leonardo have known for centuries, that time is a construct that is rather elastic. This practice can open up your sense of time, presence the gift that the mystery is offering up in the very moment, and allow for focus. Your relationship with time will shift when you engage in an activity from an inner quietude.

Here is a poem by Chelan Harkin to support this practice. I hope you enjoy both as you meet the gorgeous ruckus that is life on this beautiful planet.

The Flower

The flower
never had a to-do list,
not one day of her life.
She just pointed her whole self
toward light.
The rest
took care of itself.

Lyedie Geer

Putney Vermont

Spring 2022

Praise Song for the New Year

Click on this image to hear a recording of Praise Song for the Day

Praise Song for the Day                                                             

Each day we go about our business,

walking past each other, catching each other’s

eyes or not, about to speak or speaking.

All about us is noise. All about us is

noise and bramble, thorn and din, each

one of our ancestors on our tongues.

Someone is stitching up a hem, darning

a hole in a uniform, patching a tire,

repairing the things in need of repair.

Someone is trying to make music somewhere,

with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum,

with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer considers the changing sky.

A teacher says, Take out your pencils. Begin.

We encounter each other in words, words

spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed,

words to consider, reconsider.

We cross dirt roads and highways that mark

the will of some one and then others, who said

I need to see what’s on the other side.

I know there’s something better down the road.

We need to find a place where we are safe.

We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain: that many have died for this day.

Sing the names of the dead who brought us here,

who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges,

picked the cotton and the lettuce, built

brick by brick the glittering edifices

they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle, praise song for the day.

Praise song for every hand-lettered sign,

the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables.

Some live by love thy neighbor as thyself,

others by first do no harm or take no more

than you need. What if the mightiest word is love?

Love beyond marital, filial, national,

love that casts a widening pool of light,

love with no need to pre-empt grievance.

In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air,

any thing can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp,

 praise song for walking forward in that light.

                                                     by Elizabeth Alexander

Exploring Habits

I’ve noticed that when people think about habits they are usually focusing on what they perceive as bad habits and looking to break them.

Good habits / Bad habits, either way they structure our lives.

Habits are activities that have connected to our autonomic nervous system and have quietly transformed what we do into routine. Habits are structural in the way that they impact our lives. And the beauty of that is that we don’t have to expend energy deciding over and over again. I don’t have to decide whether to have my first cup of coffee in the morning, or whether to give my daughter a hug and a quick kiss before she gets on the school bus, or whether to review and update my list of tasks for tomorrow at the end of my work day.

Recently I had the pleasure of hearing Gretchen Rubin speak about her new book on making and breaking habits.  One thing she said really stuck with me, “What we do everyday matters more than what we do once in a while.” I got a subtle and significant perspective shift when I went from thinking about habits to thinking about what we do everyday, and my practice design “elf” awakened.

So, if daily habits are the architecture that structure our lives then the practice of tracking and appreciating what we do on a daily basis for a week could be very illuminating. Tracking something puts your attention on it and attention is a form of currency. (This is what I call a Noticing Practice.)

Start a list of your daily habits. Add to it every day for a week. Then at the end of a week give yourself 15 or 20 minutes to reflect on your list.  A few key questions might then be:

What abilities am I maintaining and even building with my habits of doing?

What neural pathways am I maintaining and building with my habits of thinking?

What are the things that I’m doing every day that presence* what matters most to me?

Then pick a few new habits to invite into the daily-ness of life.

And if, during your noticing practice you trip upon a few habits that you want to break, Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Framework is a great resource.

If you’d like support with venturing further into inviting new habits into your daily life, or breaking a few, you can contact me by clicking here.

*Note: I’m using presence as a verb here, meaning to be able to sense and bring into the present. See Otto Scharmer’s Presencing Institute

Those dilemmas that keep us up at night

I'm wondering if something other than thermal fluctuations is keeping you up at night? Perhaps you, like many others I've encountered recently, have a burning question or a dilemma that is churning? While I’m a big believer in giving things time to coalesce, sometimes we just get stuck in an indecisive loop that commandeers our attention during the day, and robs us of sleep at night. If you, or someone you know is up nights with a dilemma, perhaps I can be of help.

Dilemmas are actually very cool things. When you dive into one, with proper guidance, you discover that they have an anatomy.  They tell you what you hold dear and what you fear.  Within their structure they hold a lot of truth, along with some false or outmoded assumptions.  Without fail they hold the key to how to get unstuck along with wisdom about how to pace yourself as they lose their hold on you.

• Often we can solve dilemmas very simply with perspective and new action steps

• Sometimes we find we can to learn to hold them differently

• At times we can change our relationship to them

• On occasion, once we have fully explored them, they just loosen their grip and resolve themselves

Please don’t let the summer, and your precious life currency, get consumed unnecessarily by staying stuck in a dilemma. There are times when action is required — transformational action, that doesn’t just try to push the river, but dives deeply into it and converts the energy that is trapped below the surface. I offer Afternoon Clarity Sessions that support while you dive youin to the churn and unlock the gifts of a dilemma.

Results: What are some sure signs that you have succeeded at unsticking a dilemma?

• More sleep at night

• A path forward is apparent and you have more courage to get on it and go

• Your attention is freer to dream, create, enjoy people, and get things done

• Buoyant energy is available once again

• A sense of ease returns to your body, mind, and spirit

• Your sense of humor returns

If you are churning on a dilemma and you'd like some help, Click here or give me a call (802-881-3124) to schedule your session.

Warmly,

Lyedie

Harnessing the Energy of Spring

May 2nd, Walpole, New Hampshire

It is a glorious May morning and I'm just in from a walk. While I was out there I got inspired to offer up a few simple practices for harnessing the energy that spring offers. My hope is that you enjoy them, and they are helpful to you in some way.

Many of us are looking to further our intentionality, resourcefulness and the ability to enjoy life.  Working with the cycles of nature can help us to understand how to sustain these capacities over time. The practices below are intended to build your capacity:

  - To initiate more intentional communications with others

  - To work actively with the cycles of the creative process that are inherent in nature

  - To be more resourceful

Harnessing the Energy of Spring   (A few practices)

Recent breakthroughs in the field of neurobiology are telling us just how connected we are to the natural world and to each other. The palpable uptick of spring is a gorgeous example of this truth.  Our bodies and minds are attuned to the waking up energy at play in the natural world. This provides great support for initiating communication, moving up and out in purposeful ways.

Take a Daily Infusion: Carve out time on a daily basis for an infusion of spring. This could be just 7-10 minutes of your lunch break or a longer stretch if your schedule allows. The idea is to go outside and commune with spring as it bursts forth.  Leave your mobile phone behind and refrain from engaging in conversation. Dedicate this time to being fully receptive and aware of what is occurring in the natural world — the rain falling, sun warming, buds swelling, ferns unfurling, sap rising. Let it all bring a smile to your face. Invite it infuse your energy level and mood as you go on with your day. Doing this on a daily basis will support the initiating practices outlined below

Reflection: Take note of how being receptive to the uptick of Spring actually shifts your well-being, how it changes your energy level and emotional state.

Look for Opportunities to Break out of Winter’s Grip:  As you go through your day, look for ways to break out of the stasis of winter and to push forward into new possibility. The stasis of winter is something we often experience internally as a kind of inertia.  When you are on the verge of breaking out of it you might feel euphoric (and a even a little reckless) from the uptick that spring is giving your limbic system. But it is just as likely that you will experience at least a twinge of anxiety and feel your courage quicken. At those times consciously attune yourself to the energy of spring, the “yes” energy of inspiration and yearning; go with that.

Two Ways to Break out of Winter’s Grip:

1. Start Something: Start a project (small or large) that is dear to your heart, one that you have been considering but that has been in the grip of winter's inertia. Initiate that new project at work. Make that recipe that appears daunting. Throw that dinner party. Send that letter of intent. Teach your child how to knit.  Hurl yourself into preparing that garden bed.

Reflection: How much energy do you gain by applying your attention and energy to something that is meaningful to you?

2. Break Through and Melt Ice: Communicate intentionally by saying what you see and what you’d like to see.  Tell someone what you notice is happening in the space between you. Begin with the data; describe what you observe in as objective and straight forward a way as you can. Then express your warmth and what you hope for, what you would really like to experience and perhaps why. (It could be that there is something you'd like to see more of, or something you’d like to have less of, or perhaps there is something you wish was different than it is.) Be as real as you can, be your authentic self, listen to their response, stand in your intention.  This may feel risky at first and I encourage you to start with the small stuff. Sentence stems are a great help:  

I notice that . . . 

I see that . . . 

Followed by

What I’d really like to . . .

What is important to me is . . .

Here are some examples:  

I notice that we don't have dinner as a family the way we used to . . . I really miss it and it is important to me that we get back on track by having dinner together at least three times a week.

I notice that when you ask me to make changes in the work I submit for approval, even though I value your input, I get defensive. . . . I'd really like to be able to accept criticism more gracefully and be open to feedback so that we can collaborate more effectively .

I notice that when you greet me at the end of the day with that quick little kiss on my cheek . . . that I really want you to linger there with me a little longer. 

Reflections:

What does it take for you to say what you see and to offer your tender hopes to another?

What happens when you do?

How could you become more adept at these conversations?

Go ahead.  The idea here is to work with the inherent full-bodied invitation of spring. Experience how spring works with you to support your intentions. Notice how spring invites us, by its very nature, to be restless in our frozen old habits, to envision new patterns and potential, and to move up and out into the fullness of life. I urge you to harness the energy it offers to do what really matters to you.

Feel free to let me know how it goes.

As a life and leadership coach I help my clients develop capacities they need to meet their objectives, and to fulfill their promise.  Developing a new capacity is building a new muscle; it takes repeated effort and awareness through practice. 

May spring bring be all that you hope for!

Warmly, Lyedie